Camping in Cornwall
“While I was going to St. Ives I saw a man with seven wives..“
This well known riddle, which demonstrates the importance of listening carefully rather than knowing your seven-times table, is also an interesting insight in moral philosophy. For the young man, the thought of seven wives might be appealing; for the older, married man, the thought of six more wives is often, um, less appealing.
When it comes to listening carefully, are there 5 more annoying words in the English language than, “are we nearly there yet?“. For a short journey, this might be bearable, an hour’s journey might have you wanting to find some form of blocker for your ears (mildly more humane than gagging the child, although this remains an option), for a journey that lasts seven hours it is tantamount to Chinese water torture. The incessant assault on your brain, which is minuscule in isolation, really does drive you insane.
This torture all stemmed from a promise made to Joseph when he started school. All the classes were named after castles and we told Joseph that we would take him to whichever castle he was in. With options like Arundel, Hever, Leeds and Dover I felt pretty safe, I mean surely he wouldn’t be unlucky enough to be placed in Tintagel…
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God” (Mt 19:24)
Anyone who has driven the back lanes of Cornwall understands this. The “needle” refers to the windy, mountainous roads that are often so narrow the foliage presses in on both sides. The “camel” was our car with its hump-backed roof rack. The challenge is that these roads are two-way and passing points seem not to have been invented this far west. As one guidebook put it, ‘these paths were intended for donkeys’. I definitely felt like an ass driving them.
Still, the spots we found were almost worth the sweat and grey hairs the journeys produced. From finally finding Tintagel castle, to beautiful beaches and ancient churches, Cornwall has some truly magnificent sights although none were as lovely as the half price ice cream shop.
It wouldn’t be 2020 without some form of discussion on Covid. The park itself was excellent, with the swimming pool opening for 45 minutes at a time followed by a 15 minute deep cleanse. The restaurant was all done by buzzer service and the showers had a one way system. However, where social distancing failed completely was the children’s playground.
In the modern world we have to accept the concept of speed dating, hook-up apps etc but for children this was clearly far too slow. Within minutes of arriving at the playground boys and girls of wildly varying ages were exchanging names, tent numbers and arranging midnight feasts. Whatever happened to taking things slowly? I’ve been with Emily nearly 20 years and I still don’t get to share food with her!
Joking aside, the trip was magnificent. We were a 5 minute walk away from miles of sandy beaches, we saw plenty of local wildlife and enjoyed a few days with no tv or computer. We even managed to catch up with some friends both on the way there and on the way back. Holidaying abroad may be tricky for a while but there are plenty of amazing things to see in the UK. You may even spot the next Adonis on a beach near you!
